Benefits of exercise whilst being depressed

Ok so lately I have been trying really hard to get out the house more and motivate my self on this journey.

I have came a long way from when I first started exercising I would do it from home or a short jog, I would get really bad anxiety that I would see anyone I know on my travels, I like to hide away and be alone. I feel self conscious and constant paranoia that people are looking and talking behind my back.

Now I’ve started going the gym 4 times a week or more and got into weight training, I feel strong and when I’m there I feel happy and free. I listen to music and just concentrate on my self for a while.

Experts believe that when you are exercising endorphins (serotonin) release in your body making you feel a sense of happiness and bursts of energy process throughout your body too. This for anyone who is low and depressed is a good feeling; it gives us a small sense of hope that everything isn’t as bad as it may seem right now. Serotonin is what balances the brain when you are depressed you have low levels of this chemical and you can get prescribed serotonin tablets. But for anyone battling depression on his or her own behalf this really helps.

Other ways to increase body serotonin levels include mood induction, light, exercise and diet. It is thought that serotonin can affect mood and social behaviour, appetite and digestion, sleep, memory and sexual desire and function.

Yoga has really helped me, when I am at a low point its hard to focus and get out of the rut, I finally started a yoga group I just go when I’m feeling very down for a two hour session it really clears my mind and mellows me out. I’ve cut junk meals out and now eat clean foods (meat, vegetables, wholemeal grains) I still enjoy snacks and eating this way has benefited my body, for years I have beaten my self up about my appearance and really neglected my body now is the time to clear that negativity and focus on the future.

Be your own individual

Be your own individual, it sounds easy and almost apprehensive but please listen.

From a young age beauty, models and self-appearances didn’t affect us like today, we were simply just happy? Right? I don’t ever remember wanting to change my body the way I have with multiple cosmetic procedures or growing into this adult body that I despise. It’s sad it really is, past relationships have made me change my appearance and mind in such a way that it lingers with me daily.

It is physically draining and its hard to love the skin you are in when you don’t understand the person inside, fake smiles and laughs get harder by the days.

I have had depression from the age of 13; I am now 20 still silently suffering just like many others. In 2015 I got diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety. It took a lot of time for me to pluck up the courage to go the doctors, he gave me anti-depressants and I didn’t take them… they are still in my draw now 2 years later. Why? Because I’m scared, I’m scared of change,  I cant remember feeling happy or euphoric this is petrifying.

I am on the road to leaning what and who I am and what makes me feel happy. I force my self to go groups like yoga and other fitness classes to face my fears of meeting new individuals. I fear they wont like me and I wont fit in here. TBH most of the time I go and sit in the car or stand outside the door:’) living with anxiety has no benefits and it has truly destroyed me.  I wish I could go back to the young confident me still I had depression but no anxiety or confidence issues I was almost fearless.

Sometimes we need to consider that we are here, living and still breathing appreciate this honestly we are lucky. I have had tremendous amounts of loss over the years, from my sister to my friends and many occasions wanting to end my own life. From self harming watching my self bleed whilst feeling tears rolling down my face to suicide letters you name it I’ve been there but I’m here still and its just a feeling in my head and that’s just life. I have a large family and some friends but every day I feel alone I struggle to open up to people as I always get hurt, everyday I cry but no one sees, everyday I think about death but this is normal to me now I have learnt to live this way and I don’t know any different.  Some days are worse than others, some I don’t want to get out of bed I feel useless and low but I hide this and I hide it well.

Being your own individual isn’t about pleasing others; depression is a selfish illness and this you have to be! In order to do what’s best for you! It’s easy enough to say oh don’t suffer in silence but sometimes this is a way of surviving, every person is different and express different thoughts and emotions. No one can tell you how to fix what is going on in YOUR mind. Don’t live to worry about everyone else, think and reflect on you as an individual. Take time every day to praise your self and yes do your hair, makeup anything that makes you feel good about you because every day is a depression day and your just living.